things I heard last week...

at the courthouse:


woman in the security line to enter the building: I wish this line would move faster. I have to be in divorce court at 9:30 and I DON'T want to be married to that man for another year.


my number called for the jury pool.


the judge speaking to me during the voie dire process when asked if I had any attorneys in my family: You're surrounded by lawyers.

the judge: We have our jury. (I was #9.)


the prosecuting attorney: The defendant is a drug dealer.


the defense attorney: The defendant is NOT a drug dealer.


the judge: go back and deliberate some more.


standing at the bus stop:


woman: I went trick-or-treating as a child and a woman put the witchcraft on me. I wanted to slap her but I knew I couldn't 'cause she was old. But now if I do something weird in a dream I know it's the witchcraft.


same woman: I think my boyfriend slept with his mother.


on Halloween:


Bug (as Woody right before we went trick-or-treating): I don't wanna wear the cowboy hat. I'm gonna wear the pirate hat and be Pirate Woody.


Bug's pal (as a T-Rex): Do police arrest dinosaurs?

PB&J Cake Giveaway

I think this is adorable...a PB&J (or any other kind of sandwich) cake mold. I got it thinking I would be creative but who am I kidding...it's still in the box so I'm giving it away to someone who might actually use it and make something terrific. If you want a chance to win it, leave a comment. Leave a second comment if you're a follower. I'll pick a winner when I return from my trip next Thursday. Sadly, I'll have very little chance to check blogs while I'm traveling so save all the good stuff until late next week, 'kay?

On another note I'm convinced Bug is becoming one with Dennis the Menace. Even his hair has that little cowlick these days. If he didn't already have a Halloween costume, I would get some overalls, a striped shirt, a slingshot for one back pocket and maybe a frog for the other and call it a day.

Random Thoughts Tuesday

Three years ago today Donnie and I were on our way to work talking about the paperwork we needed to complete for year three of the adoption waiting list. I was having a hard time with the rejection waiting and needed to figure out how to handle the upcoming year differently.

That afternoon at work I got THE CALL from the agency that a birth mother had selected us! The call is both clear and fuzzy in my memory. The agency woman told me the birth mother was going to be induced in two weeks and it was a boy. I remember thinking...that's so silly...she's a girl...birth mothers are always female. Thank goodness I kept my mouth shut because I quickly realized she meant the baby is a boy not the birth mother (kinds of tells you how shocked I was to receive the call, doesn't it?). I remember stamping my feet in excitement and trying to be quiet (only a couple of people at work knew we were hoping to adopt) while I heard the news. I also remember turning to look out my window thinking that Donnie would be there. This, of course, is stupid in hindsight for a variety of reasons. For one, I work on the 8th floor and so far Donnie has never done a fly by at my office. The next two weeks are a blur as we tried to purchase baby things but at the same time still keeping the news fairly quiet in case the birth parents changed their minds.

Bruce was last night. The concert was great! Lots of my favorite songs were sung (by Bruce and everyone else and in the audience). I have the ticket to prove I was there but like most of my Bruce concerts I'll forget where I put it. After all, Bruce and I don't need a piece of paper to show our commitment.

It took Bug a bit to understand Halloween. Prior to going out trick-or-treating, some friends gave him candy for his Thomas the Train candy container/Halloween bag. At the first house, Bug gave the greeters a piece of candy. The people at the door practically had to beg him to take something from the bowl. He caught on quickly though and after saying "trick-or-treat," he started announcing, "I like chocolate" at each house. He also asked repeatedly to go to Bruce's house to trick-or-treat.

Why is it on the day I have a dentist appointment I want chocolate for breakfast?

I've been in a reading slump but I think I'm now ready to dive back in with Everything Must Go by Elizabeth Flock, the new Read With Girlfriends pick.

Go to the unmom for more randomness.

Happyween

Ah, Halloween...

I remember as a kid thinking that night would never come so we could trick-or-treat.

I remember trick-or-treating and no one could see my costume because it was so cold we had to bundle up with parkas and mittens.

I remember one of my favorite Halloween costumes. I was a gypsy. Why a favorite? I wore a wig (in hindsight it was hideous but lovely at the time) and earrings. I felt so grownup.

I remember a neighbor telling me to come early because she only made so many popcorn balls.

I remember another neighbor giving me a candy bar each year before Halloween and telling me that they would be gone on Halloween night. (They were never gone...they just watched TV with the lights out.)

I remember meeting up with my brother to evaluate our loot and make trades.

I remember one year my mom was gone on Halloween. I went along with my brother's plan to make a trick-or-treater come into the living room for his candy so my brother could throw a sheet over the trick-or-treater from the second floor in an effort to be like a haunted house. It worked but the kid screamed and my dad heard him. My dad gave the trick-or-treater TWO full-size Hershey bars and then we got in trouble.

I remember years ago going to a bar for Halloween. I was dressed as a bee (think Killer Bees/John Belushi from Saturday Night Live) while another woman was dressed as a bee (think Playboy).

I remember two years ago taking Bug and his best buddy out for Halloween. Both about a year old in a stroller and both were monkeys. My friend gave them each a holiday stocking to hold because neither one of us thought about a container to hold candy.

I wonder what I'll remember about this year...other than Bug refers to Halloween as Happyween.

'Tis the season to be scared

I love a lot of things about Halloween and not just the candy. One thing I don’t love…haunted houses. I’m a big baby—always have been—always will be.

The last time I went to a haunted house I was in college. My roommate and I went to a carnival that was passing through town. This was years ago…body piercings were fairly uncommon (see, long time ago). So…when one carnie (now there’s a word I don’t use often) asked, “have you ever seen anyone with pierced titties?” we shook our heads. He lifted his shirt and our mouths dropped when we saw two hoops through his nipples. I’m sure we yelped a bit as well. He said, “it’s like having a 24-hour turn on all day.” (I remember thinking that’s redundant but I didn’t mention it.)

We quickly got away from him and moved onto other areas of the fair. Maureen (my roommate) wanted to go to the haunted house. I said no, no, a thousand times NO! as bad memories came spilling into my head from previous haunted houses but I lost the battle. We went through the haunted house and it was horrible. Gruesome monsters were reaching for us--never quite touching us—just close enough that I still get the shakes thinking about it. Creepy things dropped from the ceiling at the perfect moment to nearly make us wet our pants. Spooky sounds, music and moans from the undead were constantly heard.

Maureen and I held hands the whole way because we were scared to death in that creepy trailer(yes, a high-class haunted house). I saw the exit sign but it was hard to get to the door because the floor became uneven and it was a struggle to walk. When I finally got outside, I turned to say something to Maureen but instead saw that I was no longer holding her hand--I was holding the carnie's hand with the pierced nipples and Maureen was holding another worker's hand! I still have no idea how/when that happened but we screamed even louder outside the haunted house and probably gave the carnies a great laugh as they packed up and left town.