football = love

I grew up in a catholic house. The other religion under our roof was the Minnesota Vikings. We went to mass every Sunday, out to lunch then settled in for football. If the Vikings played the early game we skipped the restaurant so we could be home for kick-off. There were plenty of times when I wasn't interested in watching football but if I pestered my parents or brothers during the game, my mom told me to give our dog a bath. I quickly learned to watch the game or play alone elsewhere.

My parents (and sometimes the kids) went to Minneapolis to see a Vikings game once a year. On those times when my parents escaped went alone, they would bring each of us a gift. The souvenirs that stand out in my memory are the caps. My parents saw the Vikings play the Packers...BIG rivals. They brought my brother a Vikings cap and gave me a Packers cap.
I cried myself to sleep that night.

Of all the things my parents could have done to me, this is what made me realize they didn't love me. IF they loved me, I would have received a Vikings cap, too, right? After all, my parents never cheered for the Packers...they cheered AGAINST them and now I was supposed to wear this cap in public? Seriously?

I pretended to lose the cap but my mom always found it for me. I would leave the house with it on my head then quickly take it off. I didn't even know any kids at school who cheered for the Packers...how could I be seen in that cap?

After a time I used the memory of receiving the cap to my advantage. When my brother picked on me I needed to shed a tear quickly and get sympathy from my mom, I found my motivation in that Green Bay cap and remembered that I wasn't loved or wanted in the family--the tears came instantly. It always worked.

Years after college I told my parents how I learned I was unloved. They laughed and laughed and I explained further how my heart was broken as a child over a green/gold cap with the pom pom on top and they chuckled some more. Sigh... (Edited to add: I should have mentioned that my mom had no recollection of giving me a Packers cap and figured she probably bought different caps for us because my brother was a serious Vikings fan and I didn't care that much about football so it wouldn't matter what team I had. And she didn't think as siblings we would want the same cap! Go figure...)

So while I'm still a Vikings fan, this Sunday I'll be cheering for the Pack...cap or no cap.