I wish I were a Broadway star. Not because I can act, sing and/or dance; I can't. I don't want instant gratification of a live audience (I have stage fright) or my name in lights. I'm not looking for fame or fortune (well, I wouldn't refuse fortune!) or a Tony. I want to be a Broadway star because I want an understudy.
Wouldn't it be great to have someone fill in for you every so often? I'm feeling like now would be a good time for that. There's not any one thing that's happening but there are a few things swirling around in my poor little head all bumping into each other and making noise. This isn't anything new for me--or anyone else--but every so often don't you feel like shouting: ENOUGH--bring in my understudy!
Maybe it's re-entry after vacation.
Maybe it's trying to figure out that whole question of "should we move?".
Maybe it's that we called our realtor to come and look at our house and tell us what we need to do IF we decide to put our house on the market--and getting the house in some sort of order for the realtor to see.
Maybe it's that I'm planning another trip to visit my mom and always feel that I don't get enough time with her no matter how long I'm there.
Maybe it's guilt for not taking Bug with me on the trip. (I really can't figure out a logical way to do this. He's too active to hang out at the nursing home without wanting to run the halls--20 minutes proved to be his max on the last visit. I think if I took him I would have to squeeze him into a daycare during a chunk of the day so I can spend more time with my mom. She's in a wheelchair so getting both of them from one spot to another seems challenging at best. Any solutions out there?)
Maybe it's that my mom is talking about my dad in the present tense and he's been dead for nearly 12 years. It's heartbreaking to remind her Dad's no longer here.
Maybe it's that Donnie has a couple of trips coming up.
Maybe it's adding one day to my work schedule.
Maybe it's that I can't go to the bathroom without Bug crying outside the door or bursting in (today I had to kiss his toe because he had a boo boo...and it's a boo boo that's been kissed many times before).
Maybe it's that I was feeling good about my running schedule until vacation hit and I can't seem to get back on track--so to speak.
Or maybe this happens every 24-28 days and after all these years of being a girl I should get used to the little hormonal swing. In any event...where's that understudy...I feel like taking a nap.