Monday, May 17, 2010


I'm not really fretting over this but I am curious to hear your thoughts. Here's the deal...

We received a high school graduation invitation from the son of one of my high school classmates. They live halfway across the country so obviously they don't think/expect we would attend. She (graduate’s mom) and I were friends in high school but never really stayed in touch through the years other than occasionally seeing one another if we were both back in our hometown. We have a nice time when we see each other but never make plans beyond that.

She and I saw each other at our reunion four years ago. Since then I've bumped into her once when I was back visiting my mom. She and her family happened to be back at the same time. We saw each other in the mall food court away from our hometown so it wasn’t a planned get together.

There was a time when we exchanged holiday cards but in the last card I received (a few years ago) she said she was going to send cards every other year...and maybe she does but we didn't make the short list. I used to send her birthday cards but now usually email her on her birthday. It's just one of those things I remember so I acknowledge it.

So I was surprised to get the invitation out of the blue. Was the invitation sent as a friendly, “hey look my oldest son is graduating and wanted to share the news!”? The return address label is the graduate's name not my friend’s name.

Here’s my question…do we send a gift? If I kept in touch with the mom or had some connection to the family or even knew this kid's name prior to receiving the invitation, I wouldn't think twice about sending a gift. Donnie thinks we send a card and acknowledge the graduation...the graduate doesn't know us so he wouldn't expect a gift. I feel like I'm hearing my mom's voice telling me we're obligated to send a gift of some sort because we received the invitation (a Target gift card or something since we know NOTHING of this kid or what his post high school plans are). What do you think? Would you send a card, small gift (gift card or something else--if something else--what) or simply pretend the invitation never made it and pull out your inner Sandra Bullock and act shocked at the next reunion that one of her children has graduated high school? (Just kidding...)


  1. I wouldn't send a gift. Maybe a congrats card with a cheesy graduate bookmark or something but that's it. I'm rude, though, so take that with a grain of salt. :) The only reason they send cards to people that far away is because they want MONEY.

  2. i completely agree with mimi. it seems i get at least one of these announcements every year, from someone i havent heard from in forever for a kid i barely, if at all, know.

    i would go the donnie route and just send a card.

  3. i agree with MiMi.. a card and a small gift like a bookmark or one of those lil cards that have a cute saying on it or something..

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    Overthinking Mama

  4. Yep Im gonna agree on the no gift thing. I think just send a congrats card and thats it.

  5. No gift. I think your friend just wanted to share the news. If anything, just send him a card.

  6. Yikes...I never understand people like that? Lol!

    I would send a card...maybe a really funny one, but I honestly don't think a gift is necessary--especially since he doesn't know you.

  7. This is like inviting people you know won't come to your wedding so they have to send a gift. Just send a card. And be sure to invite them to your child's next birthday party ;-)

  8. That was a blatant request for money, in my opinion. I wouldn't send a gift. I think a card is just fine.

  9. I would just send a card... I'm going with the "I'm just sending an announcement to let you know" idea...