Wednesday, July 28, 2010

grumble, grumble

I’m sure I’ve mentioned this one hundred times before. Our power was out last night. That’s not the focus of my complaint here just the beginning of the story although it was annoying because it’s happened at least five times this summer and so far none of those times has been storm related.

Back on point…

The power was out so Bug was driving his little car around the neighborhood and Donnie and I were walking with him. We chatted with various neighbors during our outing.

One woman was telling me about her sister who’s moving out of the country. She said that her sister needs a clean break (this is where my pet peeve comes into play…you knew I would get there at some point, right?) because “her 21-year-old adopted son is into drugs and has some petty crime issues.”

I know that she’s simply telling the story but is “adopted” necessary? Can’t he just simply be referred to as her son with no qualifier? It was as though she was making it clear that her family’s blood wasn’t flowing through the veins of the young man with problems.

Again, I acknowledge that I’m sensitive to this issue and realize there are times when being adopted is part of a story--or even central to a story--but I've noticed it's often used when the story is unflattering. I couldn’t help thinking that my neighbor’s tale might have been told differently if it were good news as in: “my sister’s 21-year-old son just graduated college and is headed to Harvard for med school.” Ah, no need to mention adoption then.

Okay, I'm done complaining and am off to eat a raspberry lemonade cupcake.


  1. Our power went out 4 freaking times yesterday..ugh.

    I hate that! My stepdad's dad had to introduce us as his "stepgrandkids", it always made me feel Less Than.

  2. I totally agree with you. It is annoying when people categorize.

    I want some of those cupcakes!

  3. i completely agree with you. and frankly, if this is the type of additude the guy has dealt with his whole life from "family", its no wonder hes having problems.

    i really hope your power situation gets fixed pronto.

    and i want a cupcake.

  4. My husband's adopted parents never EVER referred to him as their adopted son. Ever.

  5. Yeah I dont get why it matters that he was the adopted if being adopted made him do those things??

    We got your post card from Cape Cod! Thanks so much!

  6. I second Tammie's comment. Way to show support! I have several adopted friends, cousins, and now friends' children. Each one has been viewed as a blessing since day one. As it should be.

  7. I totally agree with you!
    However the qualifying words. .hmmm.. I think I use that pretty often when our son acts out and gets a new piercing or tattoo, I usually refer to him as "Your son" in a kind of tone...
    I had a step step grandma, but we just called her grandma and she loved us.

  8. You're absolutely right! I feel that way when people inject race in their comment too. It's usually not necessary at all.

  9. Yep. People are so thoughtless sometimes.

    Thanks for this post, and thank you for stopping by The Jason Show. It is nice to meet you!