Dear Someone

Dear Bug,

As your mom, I need to give you some general life tips:

I know you’re excited that you’re going to be three but when you're out in the world it’s generally considered impolite to ask a woman her age. And it’s definitely not nice to guess that Mommy’s her age is “five-zero.”

Love,
The one who's looking out for you who's not yet 50

Dear Work,

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!

Oh, how I love getting the memo that says I have vacation days to use or lose by the end of the calendar year. After I’m off ALL next week for Thanksgiving, I still have eight days to use up! I can’t wait to sit down with my calendar and decide which days I’ll be doing anything other than sitting at my desk…

Signed,
Worker Bee

Dear Boss,

I understand that your ego was bruised when you asked about something in a meeting that was already resolved. What I don’t understand is that later you attacked me by saying I needed to inform you of such things prior to the meeting--particularly when I had done just that the day before.

The first time I mentioned it was in a staff meeting (I have witnesses, heh). The second time was later that same day when we discussed a future marketing promo. I think your words to me were, “good idea.”

So, in the spirit of the upcoming holidays I’m going to pretend that your reply of “Oh, I guess I wasn’t listening” was really intended as “I’m sorry.”

Signed,
Worker Bee Again


Dear Little Miss Clara,


All we wanted to do was watch a little TV last night but with your snoring, it wasn't very pleasant. Remember that time when we had to move you to another room so we could hear people getting whacked on the Sopranos? How can someone so little make so much noise? And I won't even start in about the smells you were producing from the other end. Here's to a better night ahead...


Love,
Your ear-plugging, nose-plugging #1 fan