'Tis the season to be scared

I love a lot of things about Halloween and not just the candy. One thing I don’t love…haunted houses. I’m a big baby—always have been—always will be.

The last time I went to a haunted house I was in college. My roommate and I went to a carnival that was passing through town. This was years ago…body piercings were fairly uncommon (see, long time ago). So…when one carnie (now there’s a word I don’t use often) asked, “have you ever seen anyone with pierced titties?” we shook our heads. He lifted his shirt and our mouths dropped when we saw two hoops through his nipples. I’m sure we yelped a bit as well. He said, “it’s like having a 24-hour turn on all day.” (I remember thinking that’s redundant but I didn’t mention it.)

We quickly got away from him and moved onto other areas of the fair. Maureen (my roommate) wanted to go to the haunted house. I said no, no, a thousand times NO! as bad memories came spilling into my head from previous haunted houses but I lost the battle. We went through the haunted house and it was horrible. Gruesome monsters were reaching for us--never quite touching us—just close enough that I still get the shakes thinking about it. Creepy things dropped from the ceiling at the perfect moment to nearly make us wet our pants. Spooky sounds, music and moans from the undead were constantly heard.

Maureen and I held hands the whole way because we were scared to death in that creepy trailer(yes, a high-class haunted house). I saw the exit sign but it was hard to get to the door because the floor became uneven and it was a struggle to walk. When I finally got outside, I turned to say something to Maureen but instead saw that I was no longer holding her hand--I was holding the carnie's hand with the pierced nipples and Maureen was holding another worker's hand! I still have no idea how/when that happened but we screamed even louder outside the haunted house and probably gave the carnies a great laugh as they packed up and left town.